My Inspiration is L.I.F.E.

This past Memorial Day weekend, groups of people came out to celebrate the joys of a three-day weekend, show reverence to our service men and women, spend time with family, enjoy good barbecued food, and attend a plethora of cultural festivals that Memorial Day brings. In NYC there was rain and sunshine, breeze and sweltering heat, but most importantly, there was laughter and love.  Sure, one weekend does not eradicate the needs people have and the daily struggles that exist, but this weekend added perspective that I didn’t realize until I was on a trail along the Harlem River completing an ambitious walk-run combination from 145th Street to the George Washington Bridge and back. My inspiration comes from L.I.F.E.: Love Inspires Fulfilling Efforts.

My cousin Fareedah, an avid runner, drove up from the Washington, DC area to hang out with my sisters and me. We went to a barbecue, attended the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Dance Africa, ate some good and interesting food, partied a bit on Sunday night, and finished the weekend off with that ambitious walk-run combination I mentioned earlier (my cousin didn’t walk at all—she ran the entire journey and even came back and motivated me to run the last quarter mile—pushing my body to its limit.).  While I was running, I was thinking to myself how badly I wanted to quit.  It was hot, my feet and legs were burning and I just wanted to be relaxing or watching people as I sat along the water’s edge. The last thing I wanted to do was to go running.  I had given myself a pass not to have to work out by making excuses; and, I knew the run I was about to take would be brutal.  For a little while, I almost allowed my mind to believe the ease of not running would be the best decision, but with resolve, I snapped out of that self-defeating attitude and sprang into one that encouraged me to keep going, thinking of how much I love myself and how much I love looking good in my clothes even more (I’m hardly vain though)!  I thought about every bulge and roll on my body and how I could stand to lose some pounds and gain better quality time on this Earth. I also thought about how much effort our First Lady, Michelle Obama, had put into creating the Let’s Move campaign. That’s when I told myself to move it!

So, I invested in my inner health in the same way that I always invest in my outward appearance—by making the best, most advantageous, and feasible decision.  As I ran along the trail, other runners and bikers were extremely supportive—they gave the thumbs up, made eye contact and erupted into smiles of approval while we were on our journey of health, and ultimately, a physical declaration of love.  I had first begun this journey running on 145th street, traversing up a steep hill with my cousin and my friend, Jenisha.  While running, men cleared the sidewalks that had turned into their soap boxes and convention centers and we heard people say things like, “Keep up the good work girls,” or “Look at that…Black women running.”  People loved seeing us exercise, they wanted to encourage us to do what they were not doing, and they shared LOVE completely.  When the run was over, my body felt like wet noodles, but my spirit felt like water’s relief—I had been quenched.

Sitting in traffic on the FDR Drive in NYC gave me plenty of time to think so I called friends that had been on my mind, but that four-lettered ‘B’ word kept getting in the way. Two of them didn’t answer—perhaps busy had gotten the best of them also, but two of them answered. When they answered the phone, I sensed a similar emotion. Joy. They were happy to talk, but even happier to have been thought about. In that moment in time they mattered to someone else. I was now the cheerleader.  Ironically, they both used the same statement, “I appreciate you.”  My phone call (and of course a verbal reciprocation) had sent the same message.  Those moments are what L.I.F.E. is really all about.

Love is a powerful weapon that can manifest in myriad ways; it inspires, encourages, motivates and transcends negative thoughts. Love is demonstrated in the way we treat and speak to one another and most importantly, how we treat ourselves. You may still be intending to fulfill your New Years’ Resolution. And, you still have time. Fulfill the best resolution by loving yourself and rejecting any elements that attempt to take you from your course. There will be plenty of cheerleaders on the sideline. It’s time to start living the good L.I.F.E.

For more information about Let’s Move go to www.letsmove.gov

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This blog can also be read at http://www.divasindefense.com

Here to Help: Nas, Life, and Complex Magazine

I am already anticipating the summer’s sun and glow, the people’s shine and the contagion of joy that one only feels when it’s summertime (especially in NYC!).  The vibe that comes with eating an icee from the Hispanic ladies with their little push carts who ask if you’d like a $1 or $2 cup, or the sound of “brrrinnng!” coming from the local ice cream truck delivering the day’s batch of bomb pops, makes you feel as if you have no cares in the world.  And, in those moments, “Life is Good.”

Recently rapper Nasir Jones, or simply Nas,  sat down with Complex magazine for a transparent, well-written and candid interview, by writer Rob Marriott. The aesthetics for the interview captured by Kareem Black gleaned that I was in store for a vividly brilliant read.  For Complex Magazine to have selected one of my favorite emcees of all time for its cover during my birthday month (June) made it plain. Life is good.  Nas discusses everything from finances to fatherhood to failing at love over the course of an interview that reads more like a feel-good jam session at Black Velvet Mondays in the Village Underground with Cheryl Pepsi Riley and the Hot Chocolate Band. I have a front row seat into his personal life for a brief moment—I can hear the gritty, low timbre and overly enunciated New York vernacular flowing from his mouth in my mind—I’m getting to know Nas…again.

I’ve learned over the years that Nas has an appreciation for beauty, but I never knew just how much and in what capacity until now. While his affinity is consistent it has evolved to encompass the total package and not merely what meets the eye.  Additionally, I’ve learned that his appreciation has been cultivated over time due to maturity; beautiful to Nas are powerful, outstanding, and smart women like his late mother Ms. Ann Jones, and our own First Lady, Michelle Obama. These are women that have used their lives to make the lives of others better.  This is the type of sincere beauty that piques Nas’ interest and grabs his attention on any given day— “Michelle Obama is the most beautiful woman on the planet. She cares about people. All first ladies have their job to do but you can feel her sincerity,” is what he shared with Complex Magazine.  I can dig it.  I admire my momma/aunty (they’re twins) and our First Lady too! In that comparative moment for me, I think “Life is Good.”

As a parent, of both a son and a daughter, Nas has come to the realization that he has to sharpen his skills, reflect more on the job he’s done and aspire to give better advice and not the “worst advice” based on the problems he’s had. Frankly, parenting is no easy feat (I have yet to jump into that ring) and so many parents would rather not have their skills placed under the critic’s microscope. But, Nas is open to it and I can respect that.

When I first heard “Daughters,” it took me to a nostalgic place about what I know my father would have wanted for me had he lived past his tender 25 years of age; he was a smart, revolutionary man to have left behind video footage from 1978 as the living proof that my sisters and I were his pride and joy and that his very existence was designed to be a role model and a provider for mother, sisters, and me. Each of Nas’ albums has motivated me to think more, read more and to judge Hip Hop culture and music through a different set of lenses; thus, “Music is supposed to inspire (Lauryn Hill).”  What has softened me up the most is the vulnerability that Nas presents in questioning his role as a father.  Truthfully, there is a pervasive vulnerability in all of Hip Hop, but Nas tailors words with an unforgivable flow, and is the masterful architect of the kind of thoughts that fill my mind when I reflect on what my daddy may have written about me as his daughter. And, in that pensive place, “Life is Good.”

I’m always thankful for time as cumbersome as some moments may be. In actuality, time is our only consistent friend and is the judge by whom we measure our growth and place on this planet. Ten years prior, Nas was in a another stage of his career at different apex in his life. He had never experienced the hurt of divorce and the weariness of the hypothetical that has surely asked a thousand times, “What if you had done some things differently?”  I’m sure Nas would answer rhetorically, “What if? I guess we will never know.”  What I do know is that on July 17th, 2012 I will continue my journey with Nas on his tenth album as he illustrates in each track the many reasons why “Life Is Good.” Just to look at Nas at 38 “it aint hard to tell…”

Check out the full Complex Magazine and Nas article here: http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/nas-cover-story

Congress’ Violence toward Women: Stop it Now!

In 1994, Former President Bill Clinton signed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), implementing pivotal legislation for victims of rape, domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking. When President Clinton signed this act into law, he was working with a partisan legislature that was able to effectively serve the needs of the people in a bi-partisan way. Today, President Obama faces a similar political dilemma, but there is no bi-partisan camaraderie to quell this issue. Specifically, women’s issues have entered the sparring ring as the latest issue of debate used to assumedly prevent President Obama’s reelection. This is perhaps why most people are turned off by politics; but, it is all the more reason why people should be tuned in. In September of 2012, this act will expire (did you ever think an expiration date applied to the protection of any citizens?) and is up for renewal. Women’s issues have been a fundamental component in the debate to extend state’s rights, amend our healthcare system, and now, the women who need legal protection the most—vulnerable, esteem-destroyed, and fearful women—have to contend with the fact that this past week, the majority of the Republicans recently voted to weaken the Violence Against Women Act considerably. Activist groups like NOW (The National Organization for Women) have condemned the House version of the bill due its lack of specificity and its exclusion of the very people it is intended to protect.

Women are not the enemy of the Republican Party, but then again, I guess we are, but so are the elderly, the poor, the young, the gays, and anyone else that had a hand in getting President Obama elected in the first place. Partisan politics is hurting the people and our nation! We are at war with ourselves in a losing battle. And, women have been one of heaviest and most affected groups under attack as the nation inches one step closer to the November 6th election. Congress needs to stop this reckless display of assault and the citizens have to hold them accountable. The Violence Against Women Act is just as important as having access to clean air and water. And, there is no negotiating it! We need to talk about it, but more importantly we need to talk to our legislators about it.

Every link included in this blog is important to your knowledge on how you can be a better, more informed voter and citizen. America will only be as good as we make it. Stevie Wonder, receiving the Billboard Icon Award on Sunday May 20th, 2012 said it best, “We are at a place [in society] where we have to commit ourselves to love.” Women, as much as we claim to love ourselves, we have to really take the time to show it so that others can reciprocate that love.

Click on the following link to find out who your Congressmen / women are: http://www.whitehouse.gov

Click on this link provided by another read-worthy blog, The Root, to find out how the Violence Against Women Act is being stripped as reported by professor and MSNBC political commentator, Melissa Harris-Perry: http://www.theroot.com/buzz/mhp-violence-against-women-act-stripped

The Journey to Happy: Getting There Now!

This past Sunday we celebrated the lives of the women that have nurtured and cultivated the hearts and minds and spirits of a nation—Mothers! Happy Mother’s Day! In as much as Mother’s Day is a celebration of the role, it is also a celebration of the woman, mind, body and soul. Since the beginning of time, women have been trying to carve out a special niche in a world too consumed with trying to orchestrate our every move and our inner-most thoughts. Too often, it appears as if women are subjects learning how to do the simple, everyday, human things to meet demands that have been structured by men—and it feels weird.

Out of this awkwardly contrived existence come frustration, panic, and ultimately, the unhappiness of how to fit beautifully shaped creatures into jagged and uncomfortable spaces that compliment none of us. When we reach a certain age, most of us are bombarded with getting married and having children. The bludgeoning gong of our biological clocks keep us in an unnatural perspiring pace to fit into a world that many of us are okay with never championing, but society wouldn’t dare allow us to traverse the path of being unmarried, childless, career women without the chagrin of being told of the regrets this decision would bring as we become seasoned women—and so we jump into the race for the ring [wedding], the babies, and the life that keeps most of us away from the journey to happy into the journey of obligation.

In time for Mother’s Day, Jada Pinkett-Smith, joined by her mother Adrienne and her daughter Willow, released the ‘Red Table Talks’ in which they discussed love, life and regrets. One of the most poignant moments in the series premier is when Pinkett-Smith is asked by her daughter about the challenges of being a wife and mother. In Jada’s lofty but reflective response, the takeaways were:

* The more balance we have, the happier we are.
* We are responsible for our own happiness.
* Women have to create new message-ing. We have a right to be happy.
* Meditation helps women to get focused.
* Women have to learn to take care of ourselves first and foremost.
* Communication creates partnership.

As women, we have so much responsibility but our first responsibility must be to ourselves. There is an African proverb that says, “We begin by being foolish and we become wise by experience.” ~Maasai Proverb (@africanproverbs). The hope is that the longer we’re on this journey of life, the wiser and the happier we become.

To view the entire ‘Red Table Talks’ video, click on the link below:

http://www.5min.com/Video/Red-Table-Talks-Jada-Pinkett-Smith-Willow-Smith-Talk-Love-Family-517362771

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